Stronger

So life with Evie is going slightly better. I get to see her every Saturday from 3-5. I miss her so much every day. It must be hard you think to be away from the one thing you love so much And yes it is very hard for me. I don't know how I do it. But I do and I am still here alive and well. Even with all the pain and betrail I am still here! I feel like with this much pain I should have died.But you know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

To all my readers I would like to share what I said that made them take Evie away.(Oh and if you are offended by anything I post about Tarzan for now on I say too bad for you. I don't care. He told me he loved me and was committed. Well he lied and Evie is not rightfully his cuz guess what everybody he didn't marry me!)
 So back to what I was saying, I said I wanted to put her up for adoption. But let me explain why I said it. I got up every morning when to work, came home to a mess and a dead beat guy who did nothing but play video games and watch Evie. I then had to cook and clean, then take Evie so Tarzan could go to his 1 night class. By the time he got home I had to go to bed so I could get up and do it all again. He refused to get a job of any sort or help out anymore. In his eyes he was watching Evie and didn't have to work.So I broke and I wanted Evie to have a better life. Is that so wrong? So the one person I was trying to get Evie away from now has her. Is that messed up or what? I know right, now do you see. But some day Evie will be back and all mine. No I will not keep her from her dad but as soon as she grows up and sees what a disappointment he is she will know how I feel. Believe me, I know, I still can find no love in my heart for my own dad today. A mother's and baby's bond to one another is the strongest bond. Tarzan will never break it no matter how much he tries.